The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
