she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Lo siento on account of my penis...
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
