margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
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