Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
