STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
