honey bunches of taint.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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