omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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