Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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