Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
