Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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