The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
