There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
