you win again, gameday.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
