Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
