At least make sure they are 18
Why
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
