In the future we'll all be gay
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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