dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
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