he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
