That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
It's rum buckets o'clock
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
