I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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