thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize