don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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