That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Randomize
