High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
