he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
