I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
