Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Randomize
