Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
