I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Randomize
