9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
