Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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