so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
it glows. i had to have it.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
