dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
