i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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