I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
