The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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