rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
