He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
