White coat. Heels.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
