he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
