Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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