Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
