Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
