You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
