dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
