Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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