So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
