how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
