What a fucking waste of an outfit
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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