is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
