i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
