i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
